leader.

This has been playing on my mind for a while now. What makes a good (Christian) leader? There's enough material on this subject to write hundreds of books on leadership (as evidenced by the hundreds of books on leadership available) but the following is a mix of what I've read on leadership, what I've seen in leaders I respect, and what I've learnt from leaders that I struggle to respect. I'm obviously no authority on leadership by any stretch of the imagination, but here are my thoughts. And here I will also take the liberty (granted by Jessica Smith) to demand and expect more from my leaders :P

One my pet hates is hypocrisy. Worst thing is that I've probably been guilty of it myself too many times to count. (I'm working on it). But here's the thing - I cannot respect a hypocritical leader. How dare you tell me to love others yet I see you treating other people like they're worth nothing? Integrity, to me, is one of the most important characteristics in a leader. I struggle to respect and follow a 'leader' who tells me to do one thing, yet I see them doing the exact opposite. I encountered this most unfortunate flaw in one of my youth leaders several years ago. Her instruction to wear skirts/shorts no higher than the knee to church or youth because it was inappropriate and may cause the boys to ...think impure thoughts, was completely blown to pieces when she turned up to youth in short shorts, and to a church Christmas function in a tiny little dress. I've also had issues with being warned not to gossip and to speak to HER if I had any issues about what she had said to me previously, only to hear about that very person throwing a tantrum behind my back about what I had said to HER previously. (Incidentally, it was the same leader).
A leader needs to have the highest possible standard of integrity. Not only because of how much you mess up your followers when you fail to practise what you preach, but because God Himself holds you to a higher standard. Mark 9:42 says, "If anyone causes one of these little ones - those who believe in me - to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea." People will NOT follow or respect a leader who says one thing but does another.

Another very important trait of a Christian leader is the ability to be a shepherd and exercise pastoral care. Jesus tells Peter in John 21:17, "Feed my sheep." With the world and the church in the state they are now, we need more than ever to LOVE each other enough to not pass by a broken heart. I've been told that sheep are very dumb animals, unable to fend for themselves, vulnerable at the best of times. Obviously humans aren't this dumb, but we need strong leaders that love us, are able to build relationships with us, are able to hold us accountable, and able to communicate effectively. A few of the leaders in my life that have hurt me, possibly the most, are those who knew I was struggling with something, yet did nothing about it. It can be so damaging to someone's self worth if a leader who is meant to take care of them, knows they're hurting, yet pretends like nothing is happening. It was certainly damaging to mine. Am I not important enough for them to want to help me? Is something wrong with me? It's possible they were praying for me, and yes, prayer changes things, but it would have been so much easier for me to overcome my battles if they were actually there with me, asking how I was going, being available for me to talk to when I needed. The leaders I respect now are those that take a genuine interest in my life and my struggles, even the things I don't struggle with (like study). Jessica Smith said that 'shepherds always smell of sheep'. A leader needs to be involved in the lives of their people, having meaningful relationships with them, being supportive and encouraging always.

On that note of building relationships, I know that it's not going to be as easy to build a deep and meaningful relationship with one person as it is with another. Personality differences, distrust and guardedness, underlying issues can make it difficult to get close enough to someone to pastor them. I suppose if personality clashes are an issue, pass them on to another leader if possible. But I think that the best way to break down someone's walls is to love them. In the interests of keeping this blog entry under thesis proportions, I'll not harp on about love here. But it's so important that a leader love his/her 'sheep'. Bram Manusama says that a leader is not fit to lead a people he doesn't love. So I suppose if you don't genuienly love me (and show it), then don't assume that when you look behind I'll be following you. I don't know how else to say it. A leader needs to love their people.
This also leads into the concept of servant leadership, the prime example being Jesus himself. In John 13, Jesus washes his disciples' feet. All throughout the gospels we read of Jesus performing miracles, which can be considered as a service to the broken and needy around him. A leader sees the needs of the people and rises up to meet the need (within limits, of course. It would be somewhat unreasonable to expect your leader to buy you a house).

This entry is getting rather lengthy; I think I'll stop here. There's definitely more to say about this subject but I'll save it for another day.

albert latte

Albert. Here's one especially for you.

You inspire me with your honesty and openness. We've had some pretty deep and meaningful conversations, usually about religion and philosophical issues. You're not afraid to ask questions (though sometimes you say you are, you always end up asking them anyway) - and then I try my best to answer them. You're willing to accept a opposing point of view when it makes sense to you, but you're also not afraid to speak out when it still doesn't make sense to you or you disagree with it.
You inspire me because you're so grounded and down to earth. You're humble enough to admit when you don't know something or when you're wrong. Your apologies are always genuine (though unfortunately it usually doesn't stop you from doing the same thing the next day).

There. I expect a nice present the next time I see you.

inspire.

I was thinking recently about how pointless a eulogy actually is. (For those who don't know what a eulogy is, or as Zoolander says, 'a eugoogly', it's a little speech at someone's funeral saying what an awesome person they were). Perhaps a eulogy makes others feel better, and I'm sure it does. But wouldn't it be amazing if we could say those things to the actual person before they passed away?
At IMPACT youth we have discussed a few times about how we don't affirm and encourage each other enough. At Melbourne Life Christian Church they encourage each other in front of the entire church, on stage - "Hey everyone, didn't Lauren do a wonderful job this morning?" Affirmation is a powerful thing - it can totally change someone's day around. It's both curative and preventative for a wounded heart. Obviously it needs to be said with genuineness and it's not a failsafe treatment. But imagine a young girl, told everyday that she's beautiful. Doesn't it make sense that she's less likely to develop an eating disorder later in life? Or a husband told by his wife that she thinks he's an amazing man and that she trusts him to provide - isn't he less likely to turn to alcohol or gambling (or other women) because he feels inadequate and insufficient for her?
So I begin here, before it's too late for me to tell you what I really think of you. Pre eulogy. This is what a wonderful person I think you are. Not were. This is real and this is honest, in no particular order. Those I don't mention, don't be sad. I may have just not thought of it at the moment. Or maybe you're just too inspiring for words. Or maybe you just don't inspire me :P

+Rachel, you inspire me to study the Bible more. You tell me about how you read something the other day and you want to understand it better, and it makes me want to read the Bible more often because firstly, I should be doing that anyway, and secondly, so that I can answer your questions. You inspire me to be creative.
+Carlson, you inspire me to reach out to nonChristians. You're so passionate about what you believe in and you always depend on God to give you the words to say when you need to say it.
+Jem, you inspire me to keep worshiping and praising even when things are going horribly wrong and when I don't feel like I can. You inspire me to put people first.
+Peebee, you inspire me to look after other people. And to want to talk more to others, check up on them, and keep them accountable. You inspire me to be honest and open. Thanks for being such a wonderful, genuine friend and leader.
+Sarahpea, you inspire me to look after other people as well. I see how you take care of the younger girls at youth, and you do an awesome job at it.
+Brybry, you inspire me to be more patient and slower to anger. I have never ever seen you angry or impatient with anyone, even if they're being difficult. You're always smiling and gentle.
+Ashley, you inspire me to be a passionate worshiper and to trust God at all times.
+JonT, you inspire me to be more easygoing and to look after others. Thanks for the times you've called to check up on me.
+Ida, you inspire me to cook. Unfortunately this is one inspiration that will only ever come to fruition should I have no money, can't steal any, and the house is empty of all microwaveable food and pizza shapes.
+JackjackYao, you inspire me to care for others more. I know how you feel when people say you're so nice, but I do see something in you, how you are capable of caring for those around you, and it amazes me. Thanks for looking after me the past one and a half years.
+Robbie and Alby, you inspire me to study harder, only so I can answer your questions when you start panicking the night before the exam.
+those who have hurt me, you inspire me to never want to do to anyone what you did to me, because I never want to be the one who made someone cry like you made me cry.
+Jesus, you inspire me to live and love.

Disclaimer

Ok. So. Here begins the beginning of a blog.

This is my space for my thoughts, uncensored. I would like to apologise in advance for anything I might say that offends you. I'm not deliberately trying to offend you and I'm not going to use this blog to insult people. But these are my honest thoughts and opinions. If you do get upset, you can talk to me or email me. If I hear that you're upset and you've been gossiping behind my back about it, be assured I will hunt you down (to talk).
If you're liable to feel insulted, don't read this blog. You have been warned.

Feel free to disagree with what I say - maybe we can start a discussion or sorts.

Any comments containing expletives, coarse language, or otherwise unwholesome talk, will be deleted.

And finally, so that no one gets shocked about what I write, I am Christian.